So I am getting cold and cruel these days because I am keeping a distance from you and do not share a damm of my problems with you. All I have ever said are superficial words of sunshine and encouragements. I am sure that you are sensitive enough to see the lost of sincerity in me when we talk. I am sorry. We all have personalities problems and I do not think that getting closer with you and being insane together may help because I wanna stop getting influnced by your bad habit, and then we influence each other and make things worse for both. Of course, you may scratch your head about what is that horrifying friendship-bonds inhibiting thing that keeps me away from you and as well as some people around (if you noticed that).
I cannot tell you, because I only know a small tiny bit about the big fat piece of iceberg of knowledge. People thinks that I’m insane when I tried bringing the physiologically related psychology theory out. I must be trying to make a fool of myself again to speak that out to you for now. If we are, and may still be close friends in the future, then I will tell you after I have settled mine.
If you may notice, friendship bonds are created by means of having productivity of 1+1>2, where two(or more) friends live life better than being alone. If being good friends together will only ruin each other then what for we are there causing troubles for both? You get me? Of course no, and you never will. You will not even read this as you do not visit blogs that often like bloggers do. I know you care, but there got to be a better way to get things done. And I thank you for your care and kindness all the while.
I don’t like myself when things that came into my mind are much more easier than to be done. Time goes fast, but all I have ever enjoyed doing is procrastinating. I crap, a lot. All of them usually make sense but are not practical at all. Hui Ting is lousy, she just realize that she never had a real life before instead of the one in her beautiful dreams. There’s so many things that came into life, so much to see, touch and feel. All of them leave fast without a sign and the next thing happens.
Please, allow me to continue mumbling.
Um.. I guess I’ll just have to follow the flow and keep moving on. Now I am 19, I wonder there’s how much time left before I can smile with a non-winkled face and speak loudly about the things that I wanted to do.
Ignorance have to be applied on certain things to ensure the effectiveness of other things that are still going on. I am constantly thinking, and also keep on being distracted by the things that happen around me. In the end, “I think no”. So I have a wonder: Is it true that men’s brains can focus on things one at a time like having their thinking nicely placed in seperate boxes while women’s brain have EVERYTHING entangled with wires of Emotions?
Hey treepaddy are you there? Can you remember the note I posted on friendster and you commented? The same thing still happens even it has been more than 4 years! I’m still the same. How shameful!
Or.. the lesson of that I have to learn is not to be greedy anymore. There are countless wonderful things on earth waiting for us to put our hands on but we have limited time and ability. Choose the right one and let go of the others. I am not God.