I have became the class rep of my degree batch. Life has been hectic especially when it comes to dealing with people. Everyone judges, all the time, from their perspectives. I couldn’t stand the last few weeks before holiday and gone off limit. I couldn’t sleep well, couldn’t catch up with studies, and made absurd decisions..
It then followed with RYLA(Rotary Youth Leadership Award) which is supposed to be organised by Aimst Rotaract club but ended up entirely by Red Society(a medical society that collects fund for needy patients) who has 1 previous camp experience as bridged by our Dean who happens to be a Rotarian and Red Society Adviser. We were clueless, and pointlessly torn to exhaustion because at times there were lack of briefing and guidance to the facilitators. Or I just put too much responsibilities on my shoulder when people complains about the Facilitators. Though less well planned, the program instructed that we had to wake up early at 6.30am and go home late at 1am.. I was totally exhausted.
The day after camp should be a full day of sleep and nothingness. But I made deal with family to visit my brother in KL. The trip was another killing one… And you know.. My family is so afraid that I never learnt to behave so they judged and commented too. Mom said I was forever tired(of course I was!), Dad said I was too bossy(indeed the things I said when I was tired is not friendly..), Brother labeled me as genocide for discouraging people to have pets(what I was saying is less demand leads to less supply, so that not so many puppies are breed by pet shop owners.. and people who rear dogs half way and throw them onto the streets decreases, therefore less abandoned dogs… Gah.. its just a principle, not a proposal of law implementation to ban pets)
I am tired, no matter how much sleep I get, I am still so.
Sometimes I wish to sleep forever, and sooth my soul with lots and lots of nothingness.