Category Archives: Life of a Retard

Back to nature

Went to Lembah Bujang and Tupah waterfall for a walk..

I cannot deny the power of nature in rejuvenating;

and the danger of stepping onto fire ants with nothing but slippers;

as well as the importance of taking care of mother earth.
These photos are to be kept nicely in my memories reminding that tomorrow will always be a better day.

Some cute fruits found on a tree at Lembah Bujang

Lanscape view of Lembah Bujang hindu temple archeology site

Dearest Hui Ying and I at Tupah river

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A cycle

After a recent conversation with a friend’s father in Chinese New Year, his words stuck in my mind saying that we should learn to take things easy, instead of pushing too hard for it, because things might turn out the other way.

Yes. I agree, being A type and all stress out does not guarantee the outcome.. In a stressed state, we feel that we work a lot but in the end we are just paying a lot of effort with a little outcome.

I am still balancing my physiology needs, biological clock and studies. Insomnia haunts me again.. so i feel fatigue usually after morning class. Instead of pushing through the day like I previously always do, I actually skipped and take the rest I needed. I understand that it is not ideal. Rather being all strained off from the whole day unable to absorb a thing in class and do anything much in the evening. This change somehow it gave me some time to recharge and to work efficiently in the evening.

Perhaps after some adjustment hopefully the insomnia will get better that I can get back on track next week.

Looking back

So I was convinced with the Kon Mari method and stated practicing it to clear and reorganize my belongings. It uses the basis of going through all items one by one to only keep things that sparks joy instead of focusing on discarding items.

 

I first organized those belongings in my rented room in Sungai Petani in January.
As most items were accumulated in recent 4 years of study life so it isn’t too bad to go through all of them.

Now I tried practicing it at my very own room in Penang.
It is the base where i store all the things that matters to me since small.
I only completed reviewing my clothes today,
and noticed the number of clothes I kept for girl guides, is the most.
There are uniforms, souvenir shirts and those good T i kept in case i need to go camping again..

It occured to me that guiding has been a huge part of my life.
Despite not being able to dedicate too much time and effort to it, it still stays in my heart.

Then there are some signed shirts from other activities, and the form 5 graduation T-shirt..
I discarded the signed shirts, kept the graduation T anyway..

 

It is amazing how time has passed. Looking back at high school, I am almost 25 y/o now.
Many struggles, and things that had mattered so much now longer do.

Perhaps whatever misery it is that we are now having, it will go away eventually..

Dancing with fire

I have been dealing with many people, had my anxiety built up, formed my anger, learnt to persuade, managed to gain trust and alter attitude upon mixing with different types of people yet keeping the kind heart within.

There is good and bad sides.

At the age of 24, the biggest fear is still my family members.

I can lose it so swiftly by being influenced. Perhaps it’s time to learn to detach feelings with their negative emotions. It’s not easy growing up in a family who fights against each other other small matters.

It’s funny to say but my rented house with strangers seem more peaceful than this blood related home.

Keep dancing darling, keep dancing.

Rejuvenate

There are a few memories that I would like to keep on this blog..

 The first one is a thank you card I made for local health clinic staffs in appreciation of their patients in our disturbance for learning sake.

 Second are the photos with wonderful people I met in UKM Medical Conference 2016.

These experiences keep me alive.

A road less traveled

So I have chose to stand on my own because I need freedom, and enjoys attention.
Next week onward I will be driving on my own to classes, clinics and hospitals.
I have friends who stay nearby and would love to carpool, but their attitude towards classes is ‘minimal’, in which it is like most students, they will not care to stay longer after class or to observe more for self-learning purpose. Well, sometimes they would cut short our classes hours. I would do exactly the same had I not did so badly in 6th Form. But I learnt the difference hard work and persistence would make, and was convinced to believe that the art of learning medicine is to get exposed to as many cases as possible.

Well, I have been working on it, I do agree that my standard is not on par on where I should be- better.

It just means I need to work harder and fine tune my approach to increase the efficiency.

Sometimes, I guess we have to walk alone on what we believe.

Housemates

Talking about my new housemates who are housemen couple in the master bedroom… The girl is still extremely closed up and unfriendly.. it kind of make me sad though.. as if another word I speak that might intrigue her privacy and there is nothing she wish to know about another person who is staying in the same house with them.

The guy is still fine though.. he greets.

It is fine for them.. they have each other.. but I am all on my own.. comparing to the previous hostel life where we have 4 per room and 12 per house.. it’s a change .. especially when the house is nicely furnished like a home, but the people are nothing close to it.

Perhaps not all thing will go in my way, including how other people decides to treat me. I have been kind and offer help within limits.. there is nothing I can do except observing the natural history of relationship progress.. 🙂

Lonely

At times I wanted to be alone.

But now that I am, emptiness flood in especially when I am staying in the same house with a couple, who does things together all the time.

No situation is perfect, adaptation defines it.

Fear

I have been afraid of troubles and failure. And have chosen so many safe path to avoid facing it.
But no matter how much i try to prevent it.
Tragedy happens.
We have to face and deal with reality.

Ignorance is not strength,
What will happen, will happen.

Moving out

So this is my first time looking for rooms outside of the campus..
I have finally decided that quality of sleep, study, homecook food and freedom is more important than being with friends and the campus facilities that i never use.

I have found 4 single rooms and 1 house. All with good offers of different aspects.
The best one, is the house, but i would have to find 2 housemates on my own.
Giving the situation that my friends are not being allowed to stay outside due to safety purpose, I went around asking for anyone who would be willing to move in. There has yet to be a confirmed answer from anyone depite the efforts.

My God, the feeling of uncertainty is getting me crazy due to my desperation onto it..
I am excited and went everywhere sharing the pictures of the house, got reciprocating comments, but nobody said “I do”.

Its been only 3 days since i saw it, i kept thinking about it.. got very unsettling.. and sleepless..

Dude… calm down Hui Ting…
Your life has more things than it.
And the insomnia would make you crazy..

Even if i do not get the house, it is not the end anyway….. 🙂 right?