Category Archives: Ting Thinks

Suit

Have you ever wonder why men wear one type of suit to all formal events while women changes gowns from an emperor gowns to mermaid tail, having to choose a different one in all kinds of function?

While appreciating the advantage to wear all kinds of dresses that flatters, I tried to figure out the reason.

One that I have found so far is that a man is appreciated by what is in his mind, and his capabilities, instead of how good he looks. Well.. undoubtedly men look good in simple classic suits. But why they are allowed to repeat their suits, while ladies are looked in a different way if they repeat the dress, and why not just wear a really nice, and flattering classic to all events like men? It does not have to be a suit.

I was influenced by the idea of minimalism, and being poor. lol.

It came to me that a nice flattering dress can, and shall be able to be worn to difference occasions repeatedly. I wish too, to be appreciated by merely my presence, wit and skills more than the fashion show I try to put on.

A little black dress

 

Just like a simple black dress that fits and flatters. I have worn this dress to many occasions, including classes, meet ups, beach, dinner, and a concert, simply because it is comfortable and convenience.
Though it doesn’t look like one… it sort of essentially fits into the definition of a suit for me. =)

No matter the gender, I guess we shall all be allowed to repeat attires, be simple whenever felt like, while allowing our ac-companion who likes to dress up takes the spotlight, still.. regardless of gender.

On Earth

My faculty has organized and attended a wonderful prom night on last Friday.

I have refused to attend seeming everything that goes against my own recent formed belief of it being less environmental friendly and contributed to food waste glamorously.

Yes.. we do dress up and look fancy like a once in a lifetime prince and princess fantasy.. it is a cool experience to show how beautiful one can be given the effort, and money. Forming a disney moment to remember for the lifetime.

After attending to 3 proms in the past years.. I guess I have got my fair share of fairy tale experiences and shall stop pursuing it.

Instead, embrace what is real good and beautiful: kindness.

The beauty of appearance last several years, but the beauty of soul last forever.

Though I can’t deny that my batch mates do look very good in those pictures that I wish I am part of.. haha who am I kidding.

She

And so we had a class with a renowned specialist today. She has been very particular, demanding, and strict in her work and teaching. Classes with her was a nightmare for students, especially if we are ill-prepared. I was relatively lucky as the questions she asked me were those that I manage to remember, but many of others suffers from reprimanding.

Her behavior and personality reminiscent so much of my two aunts and father, for the eldest aunt is super particular, serious, easily agitated and strict, and the second aunt is bossy, cares too much about the things she does, and does not trust other people’s work, finally my father is commanding, ego and expects the highest bit of respect.

Common thing is that they all are never happy, and terribly hard to please in the conventional way but somehow extraordinarily good in the things they venture in.

She is the combined version of all 3, with the good thing that she speaks quite nice and softly like an English lady. And yes, she cares for her patients, they like her.

 

Somehow growing up in this environment, and going through the Queen’s Guides’ tests with super fussy testers, I learnt and adapted to find a way out with people like these.

First of all, do not be afraid. The more worried I was, more mistakes were to be done, which agitated them further.

Second, be prepared, like be perfect. Yes, no excuse. I am a perfectionist and quite particular and strict to myself.. Many things I depreciate myself for not being able to achieve before other people comment a thing. Maybe somethings does matter, but it is ok for not being able achieve it yet.. But yea..when my classmates grumble about it. I somehow understand why she is angry.

Thirdly, she has high expectation on us and cares so much about the patients.

Yes.. Every time we have class, we never pay much kindness and consideration to the patients.. She wants us to approach and greet the patient in a nice way. I can totally understand that. And yes… many of us are simply rude and ignorant. For example there are different position of nurses in hospital ranging from Matron, Sister, Staff nurse, MA, to PPK. The most obvious difference is sister(light blue uniform, higher ranking) and Staff nurse(white uniform with blue line). Being attached to the hospitals for almost 2 years now.. many of us still call the staff nurse Sister, and do not bother to change when corrected. It is like calling Peugeot car Lamborghini. We do not smile, and greet people when we meet members of the hospital. It is agreeable for her to correct us.

Somehow, the approach is not ideal.. for it seems she has led a very unhappy life despite being on top. Her worries, and grudge has trapped her emotions in to a form of rage and aggression that scares everyone away.

I might wish to be good, particular and be considerate but to people whom we want to change, in the name of education/influence/preaching.. Rage and anger does not work too well. The negative emotion we put ourselves in in order to show fury us eventually engulfs us. Her life is an example of it. However vague, i believe her starting point was kind.

 

Learning to behave with her, I applied a lot of body language to show humble, complete obedience and learning enthusiasm. She has been so watchful in everything around, once i got my pen snatched because i was scribbling behind her, and once my notebook was taken away for i was opening it while my friend struggled to present her case without referring. Haha. Good lesson learnt.

There’s once she kept all our notebooks because she wants us to speak without refering to notebook, knowing she feels agitated when people write on their hand, I did so when she told us our assignments questions. Res ipsa loquitur. We got the books back.

Second story.. sitting next to her.. it is best not to do anything. But I wanted to see the examinations my friend was doing, so i moved my chair. It triggered her reaction. I showed total focus on the target. Another one was picking up a pen for her.. So many hassle, but No scolding. Good job! Haha..  Yes, I believe actions can be done around her.. but display the motion as pure as possible. She is an understanding person.

I am not trying to be gender biased, generally in people who are: caring, considerate, meticulous, yet demanding perfection, which is commonly some women in power who feel that they are challenged. Just go with it and show that you have nothing to hide. Kindness is their soft spot, they will not want to go outrage unless challenged, or when trust is lost. Stop complaining and just be the good you can be. Often these challenges makes one tough and better in some aspects. Just like how I grew up with. The side effect is that one day you might fall into that furious emotional trap and become her replica. So it is best to avoid it by losing your emotional attachments to negative ones. Learn the excellence, drop the fear.

Bahahaha. I am so happy.

Growth

I recently participated in a radiology quiz..

The opportunity to be in the same team with a cheerful girl has changed my perspective. Reminding me how a serious person that I have been.

Sometimes having fun makes the people around better persons. 

Still I am afraid of people getting clingy with me. How can I face this fear and deal with it..
Apart from that.. I learnt the importance of teamwork in studying medicine, aka group study and to seek help when needed, and remain humble.

Also to 

Love, when you can.

Passion is essential to enjoy and do well..

I dont know why but I really do love moments of solitary and diving into deep thoughts without interruptions.

This is a photo of us with our beloved radiologist, Dr Aref from Bangladesh whom in so many ways transformed me into a better person with only few weeks of interactions.

Big and small

Yesterday an impatient patient walked in before her number was called and started being grumpy  and complained. Her expression reminds me so much of my aunt. I have never seen a behavior with so much of similarities as another, and started reflecting.

Yes. There is some grouchy part of me for some while. I have been complaining about my housemates, friends, owner, basically most people around me.

Indeed, they have so much of flaws. But they have done nothing much that hurts me directly, and have been nice in one way or another.

Instead of looking onto petty things and exaggerate it like that patient did, I can also focus on bigger issues, like how to improve my studies and lifestyle, which would have better outcome in the long run. Complaining, and being unhappy wouldn’t do me good.

Having vision, perspective and chances, I have more important things to focus on.

Have you been whining recently? =)

Perception

As a continuation from a post in 2015 I am certain that everyone of us live in our own perceived world.

We believe that we see and interprets based on our respective knowledge and experiences.

That is why a person’s image is so important, it shows who we are to others minimally at the first sight.

In truth we could be a kind and amazing person, but see in a social interaction, if we do not smile, we are just another unfriendly person to others, unless they have seen the good part of us.

This is how sticking with a pack of buddies/ loving family for a long time spoils us. They have seen many sides of us and love to live with it. We do not need to act kind to them, and get used to showing our worst sides. But new friends need to see the good sides, to form impression and ideas about us. They can’t see our happy smile easily cause we are genuinely happy with our pack, and forgot be nice for others to perceive. Sometimes the old friends make us so comfortable that we forgot why is there even a need to be nice to new people?

Deposit

Well..
I have finally found 2 housemates and paid the deposit.
The feeling of having my plan secured is oddly soothing and relieving. Maybe I have an OCD.

Anyway.. this means moving to another phase of my life. Being independent, away from friends in hostel to enjoy the solitarity for good. I would be lonely at times, but I guess it would not hurt asking people out sometimes and even accepting the times that my invitation might be rejected occasionally..

I learnt today that the owner and his sister-in-law who meets us to deal with the things are amazingly courteous, friendly and polite while earning my money and not giving way for discount.

Yup, they are nice, rich successful people who earns a lot, and knows how not to make people angry.

Thats interesting.

Evil 2

This is about her who never speaks truth to avoid admiting her own fault or put blame, yet shows zero sign of guilt.

I couldn’t helped it but went to seek opinion about her from a psychologist that i know.

It turns out that she is a pathological liar. Which in her past for some reason she develop fear of being blamed. (The reasons could be a traumatic experience, strict parents or having an example of behavior around, etc.)

Her fear, makes her anxious or stressed when a responsibility is given to her, for example a task. The anxiety might not be able to seen from outside, only she feels that. Causes hypoxia in the brain. She becomes less alert, distorted perception, and judgement, thus makes the wrong action, in simple words fail to fulfill her task.

We remember what we perceive. Since her perception is unclear due to the influence of her anxiety, she cannot remember what exactly happened nor if she has done her work as told or not.

Therefore when asked, her fear of being put blammed makes her confabulate evidences. She tries to create story of what she wish to believe to make her broken memory makes sense. That the end point is, she did her job very well and if anything happens it is somebody’s fault.

As much as my friend knew was aware of, she has been like that since high school.. means she has practiced a lot of confabulation, it makes her really good in making her story sounds true by selecting the details that supports her, ignoring the details that are against her and adding a bunch of lies. Honestly if i have never witness the truth, i would believe her amazingly complete ‘truthful’ side of the story, in which she also managed to convinced herself to believe in.

To say she is 100% innocent is impossible, she must have voluntarily done it and makes it a habit. But it is her fear and anxiety that makes her malfunction. Some simple task that anyone could deliver came out to be a mess from her.

Though she is good in her own, nobody will question her on the things she does herself; whenever she works with people, she gain nothing but distrust.

Evil

My current group leader would lie and put blame onto others just to avoid any fault onto her despite the truth.
its a first time of mine meeting such shameless person who could ignore her own guilt(if she ever have one) and able to do anything onto other.
she is a devil whos facts we have to listen carefully to recognise the lie, and whos pityful expression we ought to ignore everytime we talk to her and whom we have to keep distance to avoid putting blame on no matter how much you have helped her as a friend.

Does she even have a heart?

Well.. from this encounter, i start to believe why cooperate life could be difficult with the competition promoting survival self protection..
a person can behave as bad as he or she wants to be without a sense of guilt..

Beware you kind people.. we have to be smart so that we can continue being kind people.. if not we’ll just be kind dead people, or once kind until betrayed.. you know what i mean.

Beauty

Twas it came to mind,

Never overrate the value of appearance, we all become old and ugly one day.
Appreciate the kindness of a good heart, for it is the beauty that stays until we die.

image

Quote inspired by cute little pen..

This is a pen posted for fun.