Tag Archives: behavior

She

And so we had a class with a renowned specialist today. She has been very particular, demanding, and strict in her work and teaching. Classes with her was a nightmare for students, especially if we are ill-prepared. I was relatively lucky as the questions she asked me were those that I manage to remember, but many of others suffers from reprimanding.

Her behavior and personality reminiscent so much of my two aunts and father, for the eldest aunt is super particular, serious, easily agitated and strict, and the second aunt is bossy, cares too much about the things she does, and does not trust other people’s work, finally my father is commanding, ego and expects the highest bit of respect.

Common thing is that they all are never happy, and terribly hard to please in the conventional way but somehow extraordinarily good in the things they venture in.

She is the combined version of all 3, with the good thing that she speaks quite nice and softly like an English lady. And yes, she cares for her patients, they like her.

 

Somehow growing up in this environment, and going through the Queen’s Guides’ tests with super fussy testers, I learnt and adapted to find a way out with people like these.

First of all, do not be afraid. The more worried I was, more mistakes were to be done, which agitated them further.

Second, be prepared, like be perfect. Yes, no excuse. I am a perfectionist and quite particular and strict to myself.. Many things I depreciate myself for not being able to achieve before other people comment a thing. Maybe somethings does matter, but it is ok for not being able achieve it yet.. But yea..when my classmates grumble about it. I somehow understand why she is angry.

Thirdly, she has high expectation on us and cares so much about the patients.

Yes.. Every time we have class, we never pay much kindness and consideration to the patients.. She wants us to approach and greet the patient in a nice way. I can totally understand that. And yes… many of us are simply rude and ignorant. For example there are different position of nurses in hospital ranging from Matron, Sister, Staff nurse, MA, to PPK. The most obvious difference is sister(light blue uniform, higher ranking) and Staff nurse(white uniform with blue line). Being attached to the hospitals for almost 2 years now.. many of us still call the staff nurse Sister, and do not bother to change when corrected. It is like calling Peugeot car Lamborghini. We do not smile, and greet people when we meet members of the hospital. It is agreeable for her to correct us.

Somehow, the approach is not ideal.. for it seems she has led a very unhappy life despite being on top. Her worries, and grudge has trapped her emotions in to a form of rage and aggression that scares everyone away.

I might wish to be good, particular and be considerate but to people whom we want to change, in the name of education/influence/preaching.. Rage and anger does not work too well. The negative emotion we put ourselves in in order to show fury us eventually engulfs us. Her life is an example of it. However vague, i believe her starting point was kind.

 

Learning to behave with her, I applied a lot of body language to show humble, complete obedience and learning enthusiasm. She has been so watchful in everything around, once i got my pen snatched because i was scribbling behind her, and once my notebook was taken away for i was opening it while my friend struggled to present her case without referring. Haha. Good lesson learnt.

There’s once she kept all our notebooks because she wants us to speak without refering to notebook, knowing she feels agitated when people write on their hand, I did so when she told us our assignments questions. Res ipsa loquitur. We got the books back.

Second story.. sitting next to her.. it is best not to do anything. But I wanted to see the examinations my friend was doing, so i moved my chair. It triggered her reaction. I showed total focus on the target. Another one was picking up a pen for her.. So many hassle, but No scolding. Good job! Haha..  Yes, I believe actions can be done around her.. but display the motion as pure as possible. She is an understanding person.

I am not trying to be gender biased, generally in people who are: caring, considerate, meticulous, yet demanding perfection, which is commonly some women in power who feel that they are challenged. Just go with it and show that you have nothing to hide. Kindness is their soft spot, they will not want to go outrage unless challenged, or when trust is lost. Stop complaining and just be the good you can be. Often these challenges makes one tough and better in some aspects. Just like how I grew up with. The side effect is that one day you might fall into that furious emotional trap and become her replica. So it is best to avoid it by losing your emotional attachments to negative ones. Learn the excellence, drop the fear.

Bahahaha. I am so happy.

Evil 2

This is about her who never speaks truth to avoid admiting her own fault or put blame, yet shows zero sign of guilt.

I couldn’t helped it but went to seek opinion about her from a psychologist that i know.

It turns out that she is a pathological liar. Which in her past for some reason she develop fear of being blamed. (The reasons could be a traumatic experience, strict parents or having an example of behavior around, etc.)

Her fear, makes her anxious or stressed when a responsibility is given to her, for example a task. The anxiety might not be able to seen from outside, only she feels that. Causes hypoxia in the brain. She becomes less alert, distorted perception, and judgement, thus makes the wrong action, in simple words fail to fulfill her task.

We remember what we perceive. Since her perception is unclear due to the influence of her anxiety, she cannot remember what exactly happened nor if she has done her work as told or not.

Therefore when asked, her fear of being put blammed makes her confabulate evidences. She tries to create story of what she wish to believe to make her broken memory makes sense. That the end point is, she did her job very well and if anything happens it is somebody’s fault.

As much as my friend knew was aware of, she has been like that since high school.. means she has practiced a lot of confabulation, it makes her really good in making her story sounds true by selecting the details that supports her, ignoring the details that are against her and adding a bunch of lies. Honestly if i have never witness the truth, i would believe her amazingly complete ‘truthful’ side of the story, in which she also managed to convinced herself to believe in.

To say she is 100% innocent is impossible, she must have voluntarily done it and makes it a habit. But it is her fear and anxiety that makes her malfunction. Some simple task that anyone could deliver came out to be a mess from her.

Though she is good in her own, nobody will question her on the things she does herself; whenever she works with people, she gain nothing but distrust.